Below is an excerpt from the book Downsize Sooner than Later – 18 Rules for Retirement Success available on Amazon.com.
Imagine you go to your car and look in the glove compartment. Beyond a multi-tool, tire pressure gauge, owner’s manual, proof of insurance, first aid kit, and vehicle registration, what else really belongs there? It is a limited space, so you must decide.
But, have you decided?
When we look at what we have allowed to accumulate in this limited space, most of us observe a collection of clutter – gum wrappers, old receipts, obsolete cell phone chargers, barely functioning pens, pencils, expired warranty papers, an empty bottle of ibuprofen, expired sunscreen, and melty lip balm.
The glove compartment is an apt metaphor for life.
Try this exercise:
1. Take a box and remove everything from your primary car’s glove compartment.
2. Bring it inside and lay it all out on a table.
3. Decide what belongs and should go back in, and what doesn’t belong and should be put somewhere else or tossed.
4. If there are things missing – things that should be there but are not – a small first aid kit, multi-tool, proof of insurance, registration papers, etc., assemble these items and add them now. Take all the items you have decided that belong in your glove compartment and put them back in it in an organized fashion.
5. Now – and here’s the purpose of the whole exercise – stop and ask yourself how you feel.
If you’re like most people, the answer is: you feel better, happier, less burdened, more settled, more organized, more together.
If so, why? What difference does it make that clutter had accumulated in your glove compartment, and how does cleaning up that clutter elicit such positive feelings? What is the cause of this? Why are such feelings so common at the end of this exercise?
Some would suggest that the answer is you have reduced the volume of your overall “stuff” and, therefore, the prime lesson to be learned is, “Less stuff makes you feel better.”
Maybe that’s part of the reason, but I’m not so sure. Having less may make you feel better, but the degree of volume does not seem to explain what’s happening entirely. By extension, what if you got rid of everything? An empty glove compartment goes too far. Get pulled over and you will at least want your registration and proof of insurance. It doesn’t make sense that removing such essential items for the pure sake of achieving less will really make you happier.
So, if it’s not a question of the volume of stuff, what’s going on?
Why the good feelings?
In my opinion, the best answer seems to be related to establishing “order over chaos.” It begins with the fact that we are born into a world of difficulty and uncertainty. Most of our lives are spent improving our skills and ability to establish and maintain livable order in the face of preexisting chaos.
A few examples:
- We raise children to be healthy and well socialized, so they will be stronger and better equipped to face the diverse physical and emotional demands of life. We want them to acquire the ability to endure, learn, adapt, and thrive in the face of whatever the world may throw in their direction. By all accounts, this is an effort to instill order over chaos.
- As individuals, we sacrifice and save for tomorrow. We attempt to build a buffer to protect ourselves and those we love from the inherent dangers and unknowns that may occur in the future. This, again, is an effort to instill a measure of order over chaos.
- We utilize norms of culture, society, law, and belief to imprint predictability and order on a constantly changing and frequently dangerous world. These exertions are all efforts to manifest habitable order in the face of preexisting and continuing uncertainty and chaos.
Do find yourself cheering for the underdog when you watch sports?
The innate call to do so seems to stem at least in part from an archetypal human desire for order over chaos. The team that’s behind is in disarray. They face odds that appear beyond their control and will be consumed if they cannot find a way to effectively respond. When they do prevail and win, people love it! This is because it is the underlying hope and desire of all people to do the same as they face existential and unrelenting chaos in their own lives each day.
Unlikely as it may seem, the complete drama of this reality is observable in something as simple as your glove compartment. Before you clean it out, it’s in chaos. You must first notice this state and give it your attention. From there, you must act to reduce the level of chaos and increase the level of order. After acting, you experience the satisfaction of having achieved greater order. Did you end up putting some things “away” in places where they better belong? Likely. Did you end up throwing some stuff out? Probably. But it’s not the summated state of “less” that has the greatest impact. It’s the underlying order.
Widening this concept is the fact that few things exist in a vacuum. As we discussed in earlier rules, a high-maintenance possession can create a domino effect of generating chaos. Things wear out and break down. There are payments, upkeep, and repairs. All this requires time, money, attention, and energy. If, suddenly, a high-maintenance item disappears, a ripple effect occurs. It’s not the reduction of the “stuff” per se. It’s the reduction in chaos that surrounds the stuff.
One of the many memorable quotes my son John shared with me was, “Dad, how you do anything is how you do everything.”
If my glove compartment is a mess, then what are the chances my trunk is a mess, my garage is a mess, underneath my kitchen sink is a mess, my closets are a mess, my cabinets are a mess, my drawers are a mess, my basement is a mess, and so on…?
In general, increased order yields increased feelings of peace and happiness. Of course, nothing stays fixed forever. Things fall apart even with our best efforts, and sometimes, it’s a wonder anything keeps working at all. But since we have limited time and limited space, it makes sense to ask: What are we filling our limited time and space with? Are we accumulating mindless clutter or are we living deliberately and intentionally?
A few “glove compartments” worth cleaning out:
- What are you doing with your time? Your mornings, your evenings, your weekends? Do you waste them on sub-optimal activities such as watching mindless TV or reading psychologically damaging news?
- Is your schedule a mess? Have you said “yes” to things that aren’t really a priority? Have you said “no” to things that should be a priority?
- Is your health a mess? Do you eat right and have a routine for exercise? Do you have a snack drawer full of junk food versus convenient things to eat that are healthy?
- Do you attend regular check-ups with a primary care physician, dentist, and eye doctor? Or do you wait for something to “break” and react to your health, rather than proactively caring for it?
- Are your relationships a mess? Do you set aside time for children, spouse, and friends? Or do you only “catch up when you can” and find yourself losing valued connections?
- Is your stuff a mess? Do you keep a bunch of possessions you don’t use, want, or love? Who will end up sorting through such items when you are gone – a grieving spouse or children? Is putting the burden of cleaning things up on them the most responsible and loving choice?
- Are your finances a mess? Do you have a plan you can be proud of? Or are your finances a junk drawer filled with random debts, obligations, bills, insurance, old retirement accounts, and unaffiliated IRAs? Do your loved ones even have a list or means to locate your policies and accounts?
- Is your estate a mess? Do you have a will? Have you designated appropriate and updated beneficiaries on your insurance and retirement accounts? What about a healthcare power of attorney or a living will? Have you made your wishes known about what to do if something happens to you? Or will you leave loved ones guessing about what you want at an already difficult time?
- Are your usernames and passwords a mess? If you were gone, would loved ones be able to access your phone, important accounts, computers, email, documents, and pictures?
Without deliberate attention, these things can accumulate disorder just like an ignored glove compartment. Once an area of chaos is identified, simply ask,
- How can you arrange your affairs in a better way?
- What belongs?
- What needs to be removed?
- What needs to be added?
After taking sensible action to restore and impress order, a surge of positive feelings is the most common and immediate result. Doing so opens the door to increased predictability, increased livability, and increased energy and space for the things that matter most.
Questions or comments?
I can be reached at this link – contact Ted Stevenot.