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Rule 13: Eat Less Grass

Below is an excerpt from the book Downsize Sooner than Later – 18 Rules for Retirement Success available on Amazon.com.

Does it seem unusual for someone in their mid-50s to have six-pack abs?

As I write this, that is my current condition. Years ago, I would not have imagined this as likely. I remember thinking, when I first began to get wider around the middle in my 40s, “Well, I guess that’s just the way it is.” Have you ever had someone walk by you and bump into your stomach? That was me. I wasn’t technically overweight, but I was developing a typical middle-aged middle-section.

I have generally always been a person who exercised at least some. Currently, I have a routine that gets me to the gym four to five days a week for roughly 20- 25 minutes of moderate exercise per session. As for the abs, while exercise played a part, it was really a change in diet that made the difference. I know this to be true because for a long while I exercised, but did not have the abs. And my exercise routine was about the same before and after the six-pack so enchantingly appeared. One day, while brushing my teeth and not wearing a shirt, I happened to look in the mirror and noticed: “What the hell?”

The knowledge I acquired to make the change was stumbled upon by accident.

The root cause stemmed from a different approach to eating that was relatively easy to put in place and has been similarly easy to maintain. I stay on track about 85–90% of the time and don’t feel significantly restricted. This means I still have ice cream and cheesecake on occasion. But for the rest of the time – roughly 17 out of 20 meals in an average week – I have a routine and an “environment” for eating that keeps me on track.

Dispensing information about dieting is difficult because there have been so many fad diets over the years. Most seem great at the time but eventually fade from view. Compounding this challenge is the fact that people are different, and different approaches work better for some than they do for others. Additionally, sometimes people have legitimate medical issues such as autoimmune disorders or allergies that can affect how and what they can eat healthfully.

Understanding that diet is a tough space and can be bewildering, I would like to share with you one small idea related to dieting that I have found to be most useful. This idea has worked well for me and my wife for several years. Feel free to take it or leave it. If it works for you, great. If not, perhaps it will inspire you to seek out a diet that would work for you, if desired.

It started a few years ago when my wife came across a book in a dollar store called, Your Personal Paleo Code, by Chris Kresser. The title has since been changed to, The Paleo Cure. I had not heard of Chris before, but flipping through the pages, my first impression was, “Wow! Whoever this guy is, he worked his tail off to write this book!” So, I thought, for a dollar, I’d give it a whirl.

It’s funny how some of the most valuable things we discover in life are often stumbled upon. More than once, I have, by accident or luck, found something that later proved to be life changing. I suppose the lesson here is to always remain curious and on the lookout for hidden value.

I brought the book home and started reading it. Perhaps it was an example of the “teacher appears when the student is ready,” but it made a huge impact on me. I had heard of ancestral or “Paleo” dieting before in passing, but this was the first time I heard it presented as an evidence-based force-multiplier for improving diet and general health. One of the biggest takeaways I got from the book was the concept of “nutrient density” as relates to food.

The Magic of Nutrient Density

We hear endlessly about “junk food” and “empty calories,” but I never stopped to think what those words really mean. In the modern era of low sugar diets and “counting carbs,” it seemed all that mattered about most food was the “macro” or total calorie count. “Junk food” meant high sugar and/or high fat which, in turn, meant high calories. Conventional wisdom said that for a better diet, avoid such foods or consume them in moderation.

It turns out there is more to the story.

It begins with the fact that our bodies and digestive systems are monumentally complex. The digestive system consists of a vast universe of “microbiota” with an almost immeasurable number of agents working in concert to sustain our lives. Humans evolved these systems over millions of years, living as hunter gatherers and eating a diverse array of naturally occurring foods.

With the onset of the agricultural revolution, an unintended consequence was diets becoming substantially less diverse. This happened because only a relatively small number of plants and animals proved to be domesticable and cultivation friendly.* Some of these foods worked out well for our diets, while others were not always the best in terms of nutrient quality or digestibility.

*An excellent and fascinating resource that discusses the story of food domestication is Jared Diamond’s landmark book, Guns, Germs and Steel.

We arrive at today, dependent on diets with comparatively fewer food choices and with the widespread adoption of many foods – such as those that are grass-based like corn, rice, wheat, and refined sugar – that often conflict with our anciently evolved digestive systems.

So, what does it all mean?

Eat Food Your Body Will Recognize

Feeling hungry? This is your amazing body – literally developed over millions and millions of years – telling you it needs something. The question is: what? I know people who get very focused cravings for particular food items. Maybe it’s just me, but I have never experienced hunger with such focus. Instead, I seem to just get broadly hungry without much tilt toward specific foods.

Being “hungry” is, as it turns out, a generalized condition. Your body could be looking for some specific nutrient or fuel that you may not even be aware of (e.g. like sailors suffering from scurvy and having no clue what’s going on). One way to think of it is to imagine the body as having a limited vocabulary. It might need calcium, vitamin B12, citric acid, or some other nutrient, but because your body can’t directly ask for it, it just says, “I’m hungry!”

In the modern world, the cycle goes something like this:

1. Needing some combination of calories and nutrients, the body says, “I’m hungry!”
2. In response, I feed it high-calorie, low-nutrient junk food.
3. My stomach, now filled with calories but limited nutrients, provides me temporary relief. But it is a false summit.
4. Soon, my body, still lacking the nutrients it wanted in the first place and despite the fact it recently got a load of extra calories, repeats, “I’m hungry!”
5. Return to “2” above and repeat.

In such a cycle, I end up with an excess of calories and a deficiency in nutrients (i.e. overweight and less healthy). In truth, the body’s vocabulary is much more expansive. Yearning for what it wants, it may “speak” by saying things like: headaches, joint aches, depression, sleeplessness, digestive issues, cramping, pain, gas, various types of inflammation, and more.

Selecting a diet with diverse and nutrient-dense foods can alter the steps above to look more like this:

1. Needing some combination of calories and nutrients, the body says, “I’m hungry!”
2. Instead of giving it junk, I feed it nutrient-dense, real, whole, actual foods.
3. I get the calories I need and more of the nutrients my body wants. This gives me improved nourishment, greater energy, and relief from feeling hungry as often.
4. In time, I average toward a more stable diet, better nutrition, optimal body weight, and improved overall health.

Again, the body and digestive system are exceedingly complex. Knowing or attempting to predict what micronutrient the body might want at any time would be extremely difficult. By selecting in favor of more diverse and nutrient dense foods – as our ancient ancestors did – I increase the odds of giving my body the fuel it needs.

Below are some examples of foods I regularly eat.

  • Fruits (mandarins, grapes, strawberries, blueberries, kiwis, bananas, blackberries, plums, grapes, apples, cherries, occasionally melon).
  • Nuts (walnuts, pistachios, almonds).
  • Legit dark chocolate (60%+ cacao – small wrapped 3–4 per day, 8–12 dark chocolate chips).
  • Eggs, beef, chicken, pork, salmon, trout, tilapia, sardines, occasionally tuna.
  • Vegetables (avocados, artichokes, brussels sprouts, asparagus, cauliflower, broccoli).
  • Sweet potatoes (a mainstay and prime source of “good carbs”).
  • Carrots and celery with homemade ranch dip.
  • Cheese (occasionally, dairy for those who can tolerate it).
  • Coffee.
  • Almond milk.
  • Ice water with lemon.
  • Red wine (one glass per day, when indulged).

Note the commonality in the list above that just about any ancient ancestors would recognize most of these foods (i.e. less the almond milk, chocolate, coffee, and red wine). However, they would not recognize a loaf of bread, a bag of corn chips, candy bar, or a can of soda. Hence the epithets “ancestral” or “Paleo” (i.e. stone-age) eating.

Below are some examples of foods I try to avoid.

Note the two important commonalities of many of the foods avoided: grass-based and legume-based.

  1. Grass-based foods. Wheat, corn, rice, and sugar cane are all grass plants. It seems hard to imagine today, but for millions of years before the agricultural revolution – only around 10,000 years ago to the present – our ancient ancestors didn’t really eat much grass or foods derived from grass plants. For perspective, “humans” separated from chimpanzees around 7,000,000 years ago. Our more direct relatives, like homo erectus (upright man), first appeared about 2.5 million years ago. Our specific species, homo sapiens (wise man), has been around roughly 250,000 years. Animals that thrive on grass are called “ruminants” and have special digestive systems evolved to accommodate such eating. Humans are not ruminants. Grass-based foods, as we know them today, take on a variety of forms which are sweet, flavorful, and calorie dense. They are also inexpensive to produce and easy to ship and store. Unfortunately, however, they are light on nutrients and frequently misalign with our ancient digestive systems.

  2. Legumes and legume-based oils. Legumes are plants like beans, peas, peanuts, and lentils. Many of the cooking oils common today are derived from oils extracted from legumes. Again, wonderfully flavorful, cheap to produce, easy to store, and filled with calories, such foods and their derivatives often run afoul of our long-evolved digestive systems.

While I do eat many of the food items listed below on occasion, I try not to subsist on them as a major part of my diet. They are OK for the three meals a week or as an occasional side, but these are not foods I rely on to provide a significant source of nutrition.

Bread. (Wheat is a type of grass. Baked flour, while delicious and mouthwatering, is still essentially processed grass. If you must eat bread, bread made from almond flour or other nut flour may be much more recognizable to the body.)

  • Peas, beans, string beans, cut beans, lentils, baked beans (legumes).
  • Cereal (wheat-based, processed grass).
  • Soda (high-fructose corn syrup is highly refined corn – another type of grass), cane sugar (saccharum officinarum is perennial grass).
  • Cookies made with wheat flour and refined sugar (grass and grass).
  • Pasta (better than many other kinds of breads, but still bread).
  • Chips, cookies, pretzels, convenient “bagged” snacks (grass, grass, and more grass).
  • Fruit juice (fruit juices can be squeezed or juiced from a real fruit – but even then, you’re probably better off just eating the fruit).

It has been said: “People are hard to change, but environments are easy to change.”

When my wife and I wanted to change our eating habits, one of the biggest areas of impact we discovered was changing our food environment at home. We started with snacks. We got rid of all the snack foods we wanted to avoid and replaced them with fruits, nuts, and easy-to-grab veggies. From there, we did the same with bigger meals. Eventually, we solved for breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. We did not calorie count or starve ourselves through portion control. When hungry, if it was on the “good” list, we ate as much as we wanted.

In time, our bodies picked up on the micronutrients we had been missing and our appetites began to curb. No more ten o’clock at night, “OMG, I’m freaking starving!” followed by crushing two bowls of cereal before bed. It wasn’t a question of willpower; the intense crashes of hunger just stopped happening. Personally, I began to feel better physically with fewer aches and pains. Additionally, my general level of anxiety and propensity for over-worrying and stress dropped like a rock.

From there, we continued to look for more interesting ways to prepare the “real” food we were eating more of. We collected cookbooks and expanded our list of recipes. Now that we know what to eat and how to prepare it well, staying on track is easy.

Can you imagine?

  • Baked wild salmon with garlic and herbs, served with asparagus, diced sweet potatoes, and a glass of red wine followed by a dessert of strawberries smothered in dark chocolate.
  • Grilled filet mignon with sautéed mushrooms, steamed artichoke, baked sweet potato, Mediterranean side-salad sprinkled with feta cheese, followed by a small bowl of ice cream.
  • Chicken fajita with caramelized onions and green peppers served over steamed cauliflower rice and dark chocolate-covered almonds for dessert.

Does this really seem restrictive?

You be the judge.

But wait, didn’t our ancient ancestors live comparatively short lives?

Some people point to reduced life expectancy among our long-ago ancestors as a reason to avoid eating more in alignment with the way they ate. But this is a misreading of the facts. People had lower “average” life expectancy, due to the combination of untreatable infections, unrecoverable diseases, and extremely high infant mortality. Such factors pulled the overall numbers down drastically. By contrast, coupling modern medicine with ancestral eating opens the door to the best of both worlds.

As with any major life alteration, making positive changes in something as important as diet requires ongoing study and diligence. For my part, I am glad to be on the path. As with any system for healthful eating, no one size fits all. Consult with your physician or qualified health practitioner to be sure any diet you choose makes sense for your individual situation.

Questions or comments? 

I can be reached at this link – contact Ted Stevenot.

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Rule 14: Move Your Whole Body

Below is an excerpt from the book Downsize Sooner than Later – 18 Rules for Retirement Success available on Amazon.com.

With this rule, we enter a second challenging topical space like diet, due to its shifting, diverse, and volatile nature. This is the subject of exercise. Here again, my goal is to offer you the highest and most concentrated value possible. While, admittedly, I am an amateur on this subject, my reflections are based on years of study, experience, and observation. Just like with diets – no one size fits all. As always, consult with a physician or other qualified health professional before beginning any new exercise plan to be sure it is safe for you.

Here, I want to suggest a methodology for exercise that is both convenient and enduring. The goal is to accomplish:

  • More results with less time and effort.
  • The best version of you – whatever that is – not some conventional stereotype that may be a mismatch.
  • To exercise in a way that is sustainable. This means not hurting yourself and being forced to stop exercising.
  • To promote range of motion so that for as long as possible you can maintain your capacity to move and physically engage in life.

As mentioned in the last rule, I am a person who has exercised most of my life. I remember I used to do sit-ups while watching TV after middle-school in the late afternoons. At one point in my early teens, I could readily do a thousand sit-ups in a single session and over 130 sit-ups in under two minutes.

Those were the days…

Over the decades, just like with diets, I have seen exercise fads come and go. In recent years, my son John became deeply involved with an exercise system called CrossFitⓇ. John was an enthusiast and a serious student of health and exercise. I think he wanted me to get involved with CrossFitⓇ, but it never really came about. He joined me at my gym several times, though, and tweaked my usual routine with techniques he had learned.

One important addition he suggested was a movement known as a “thruster.” This is a type of squat exercise accompanied by light dumbbells held in each hand. In the motion, you bend your knees into squatting position with the dumbbells held at chest height. From there, the motion completes in a standing position and with arms fully extended overhead.

It is a simple exercise and moves the whole body. He added a twist by pairing this activity with another exercise. The second exercise was a series of machine assisted pull-ups. Altogether, and against the clock, the sets of exercises unfolded like this:

  1. 21 thrusters.
  2. 21 pull-ups.
  3. 15 thrusters.
  4. 15 pull-ups.
  5. 9 thrusters.
  6. 9 pull-ups.

CrossFitⓇ devotees will recognize this group of motions as like a workout called “Fran.” It is an old-fashioned butt-whooping to get through without stopping the first few times.

So, why tell this story?

It turns out, hidden in all this are two secrets to effective exercise that make a huge difference in the efficiency and overall value extracted from exercise.

Many types of exercise employ these secrets in one way or another. A few examples are burpees, aerobic-boxing, parkours, dance and ballet based exercise programs, and as mentioned, CrossFitⓇ.

The two secrets are:

1. Move your whole body – or most of it.

“Whole” or full-body exercise is any activity that requires coordinated motion from the knees to the shoulders. Such exercise requires diverse muscle groups to work together and, when done properly, can provide increased beneficial impact in reduced time. Whole body exercise promotes a healthy range of motion, muscle and tendon strength, and engages the lymph system, which acts as a type of pumpless filter for the body.

2. Where possible, “pair” or “weave” different exercises together in the same set.

In the example above, pull-ups – which engage lats, biceps, and back – are paired with thrusters – which engage legs, core, and shoulders. While there is some muscle overlap, these are very different exercises. It turns out, our bodies seem to like movements that occur in a successive, diverse, and coordinated range. Exercise “pairing” helps facilitate this diversity of motion. Some simple examples of pairing include push-ups with sit-ups, pull-ups with burpees, leg lifts with air squats, jumping rope and punching a heavy bag, etc.

I have searched for an origin story behind the rise of exercise systems that combine whole body motions with varying degrees of pairing. The closest I can find is in the forerunning history of parkour. Parkour originates from the French phrase parcours du combattant which translates to “obstacle course.”

French naval officer Georges Hebert, before World War I, conceived a system to promote athletic skill based on tribes he had observed in Africa. Hebert noted, “Their bodies were splendid, flexible, nimble, skillful, enduring, and resistant but yet they had no other tutor in gymnastics but their lives in nature.”(1)

The obstacle course training Hebert and subsequent others developed under the umbrella of parcours brings together a combined series of full body motion (e.g. running, vaulting, jumping, climbing, etc.) and pits these movements against the clock.

(1) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkour

One could view many of the popular modern exercise systems as “parkour in place.” Sans the obstacle course.

Many such systems are enhanced by the addition of resistance equipment such as barbells, kettle bells, bungee cords, heavy ropes, pull-up bars, and other free weights. If you have ever run a traditional parkour trail (not the over-the-top acrobatic borderline insane viral video forms of parkour), you will know exactly what I am talking about. It is the mix of motions that hit you. All those body parts being called upon to respond make for a phenomenal overall workout.

I can remember years ago doing traditional workouts with weights at the gym, before adding the mix of full-body routines. The weekend would come, and I would have to do some demanding chores like heavy yard work or splitting wood. Afterward, I’d be sore for days. I remember thinking, “I thought I was supposed to be in good shape. What’s going on?” But since adding the mix of whole-body motions to my routine, I am now much better prepared to engage in such weekend activity without feeling like I have been thrown off a building in subsequent days.

If this all sounds difficult or extreme, it doesn’t have to be.

Consider the following list of motions that use either most or a substantial degree of full body engagement. Many are not traditional bodybuilding exercises. The point isn’t to build beach muscles – though you can still do that if you want – but rather to maintain range of motion and sustain general health. When weights are involved, these exercises favor lower, safer weight loads with higher repetitions (for example, 8–12 movements per set x 3 sets).

  • Walking, jogging, running.
  • Seated row.
  • Elliptical machine.
  • Stair machine.
  • Bike riding.
  • Sit-ups.
  • Crunches.
  • Leg-lifts.
  • Push-ups (more than just a chest workout, also a planking exercise).
  • Chin-ups (machine assisted).
  • Pull-ups (machine assisted).
  • Squat.
  • Deadlift.
  • Burpees. 
  • Jump rope.
  • Wall balls.
  • Air squats.
  • Thrusters.

In my experience, a variation of three to four of these motions in every workout session at moderate levels does the trick. This equates to four to five workouts per week of approximately 20–25 minutes in duration. No big deal. Supplementing these workouts by increasing the number of times you stand daily and by achieving manageable goal for tracking “daily steps” adds icing to the cake.

The hardest thing.

When John and I used to do our podcast together, one of the things we said all the time was that the hardest thing about doing anything was starting. From there, the key is to establish a routine. Do a little each day. Celebrate that you completed your routine. Simple. Light. Systematic. Take your time. This is where enduring results come from. Not from massive exhausting bursts (often injurious and dangerous, when it comes to exercise), but in steady consistent steps.

On days when I don’t feel like going to the gym, I think, “Just get there and do one thruster.” Of course, when I get there, I never do just one. All I really needed was the motivation to get through the door. Former Navy SEAL commander, author, business, and life coach Jocko Willink once commented on the importance of simply getting to the gym: “When you get there, what are you going to do? Lay on the floor?”

He is exactly right. Get there. Take the first step, and the subsequent steps will follow.
One thing I also do that helps is listen to podcasts and audiobooks while at the gym. In this way, I accomplish two major objectives at once – a workout for my body and a workout for my mind. Just like the body, the mind takes routine care and maintenance to stay in shape.

Caring for your mind is the topic of our next rule.

Questions or comments? 

I can be reached at this link – contact Ted Stevenot.

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Rule 15: Protect Your Mind

Below is an excerpt from the book Downsize Sooner than Later – 18 Rules for Retirement Success available on Amazon.com.

In our earlier discussion about the glove compartment, we noticed that even though we begin with limited space, without deliberate attention, it easily becomes a catch-all for unwanted and non-essential items. Like the way we allow things to accumulate in a glove compartment, it is worth considering what we allow to accumulate in our minds.

With the mind, rather than facing limitations on space, we face limits of time and energy.

What we allow into our minds creates a compound effect.

Will the input we allow into our minds move us in the direction of the things we want, or will it take us somewhere else? Will the input we feed into our minds be empowering or draining? Will it lead to a greater sense of fulfillment and purpose or a greater sense of frustration and anxiety?

I felt this rule was important to include because I have noticed how common it is for some seniors to allocate significant time daily to watching TV, and listening to, reading about, and ingesting local, national, and political news. Some leave this kind of programming running in the background all day like a form of white noise. Others spend time visiting news websites online or reading (…and forwarding) emails filled with manipulative, negative, and alarmist doom and gloom.

What do you imagine the accumulated impact of negative input has on quality of life over time?

  • Will feeding our minds such information lead to greater happiness?
  • Will it help improve our relationships with friends or family?
  • Will it increase our general wisdom or outlook on life?
  • Will it expand appreciation and meaning in our lives?
  • Will it improve our capacity to live more fully or become stronger?

The choice of whether to spend our remaining – and undetermined number of – days consuming a diet of mentally negative, counterproductive, anxiety-provoking, and sensational “junk” is up to each individual. An alternative course is to be deliberate and constructive about what we allow into our minds daily.

Jim Rohn once remarked about a seminar he regularly conducted on success habits. At the seminar, he would challenge participants to, “…find out what poor people read, and don’t read it.” This is sage advice.

Garbage in and garbage out.

Sadly, much of the media today is intentionally designed to overhype the worst of the worst stories and leverage the highest possible shock value. Such “clickbait” is aimed at getting attention and drawing viewers at any cost. It should come as no surprise that some media is specifically designed for the purpose of leveraging the fears and anxieties of seniors.

I say, “Turn it off!”

When John and I worked in politics, one of our goals was to inform as many people as we could about how ordinary citizens – regardless of party affiliation – could help improve the health of our political system through engagement in local party committees. However, we discovered that no matter how rationally or persuasively we made our case, there were some people who simply didn’t want a solution.

Why? Because they’d rather sit and complain. For such individuals, awfulizing and complaining became a reward in and of itself. John used to call these individuals “chronic bitchers!”

My advice here is: don’t fall into that trap. Don’t let that become you!

What if you turned off the negative input and oriented what you allow into your mind more deliberately and purposefully?

As I write this, I get up at 5 a.m. each weekday. I go downstairs, make a cup of coffee, and let out the dogs. I find my phone and select an educational podcast or audiobook to listen to. I press play and it runs from home to the gym and back. I also let it play while I start making breakfast for my wife and myself. Once she shows up, though, I turn it off and focus on her.

Instead of waking up to gloom-and-doom, manipulative, garbage-centered media, I average an hour to an hour and a half of constructive input every day. In a year, this is over 350 hours of productive and educational input.

A typical college class meets three hours a week for three months. In equivalent terms, the audio I listen to is like taking ten college courses a year.

Yet this costs me almost nothing and has an amazing impact on my life. Compare that to spending the same time listening to the news or muckraking political commentary. Most people have no idea the opportunities they miss by not more constructively using such time.

Jim Rohn tells another story in which he asks a man, “What did your television cost?” The person answers by stating the purchase price, “$400.” To this, Jim replies, “That’s not true! I think it’s costing you about $40,000 a year. Not to own it, but to watch it.”

Is junk TV programming and sensational online news really the best we can do with the precious time we have left? Is this responsible stewardship? Does this honor those we love who are now gone or those who sacrificed so much for us to be here? Would they be proud of us for allocating time in such a manner? Would they say the time that we have – that they no longer have – is being well spent? Tough questions, but they are worth asking.

Here are some alternatives to consider versus habitual daily ingestion of negative and mentally destructive media:

  • Learn or do something new each day – math problems, learn a foreign language, facts of history.
  • Meditate. Try a guided meditation app like Headspace.
  • Use mornings to get to the gym.
  • Give yoga a try. There are countless routines available for beginners to advanced practitioners on YouTube. Or sign up for a local yoga class.
  • Do you follow a spiritual or religious practice? Allocate time daily to studying, learning, praying, and practicing it.
  • Do something difficult each day like learning to play an instrument, engaging in challenging artwork (e.g. compose music, draw, paint, write, craft, sewing, needlepoint, knit, etc.).
  • Habitually spend time in nature. Take pictures of the best moments and keep a daily journal online or offline.
  • Get more wisdom. Read about aging well, better health, better exercise, better diet and nutrition, how to improve your relationships, deal with loss, philosophy, history, etc.
  • Read (or listen to) classics, poetry, or quality fiction to help maintain your imagination.
  • Write that book you have always wanted to write, keep a personal diary or journal.
  • Assemble and organize your photographs, home movies, and stories, so they can be handed down to the next generation.

Without deliberate intention and direction, it is easy to let autopilot take you to places that are both unproductive and in the opposite direction of your hopes and dreams.

In ten years, who would you rather be?

  • A person who has ingested 10,000 hours (20 hours a week) of manipulative, negative, and shocking media – bummed out, cynical, anxious, and pessimistic.
  • A person who has spent 10,000 hours acquiring new knowledge, wisdom and skills to put to work – wiser, stronger, better, more capable, and more fulfilled.

The choice is yours.

Become conscious of the inputs you are allowing into your mind. Make deliberate choices about what you will or won’t allow in. From there, build a daily routine to keep yourself on track.

Questions or comments? 

I can be reached at this link – contact Ted Stevenot.

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Rule 16: Overflow with Meaning

Below is an excerpt from the book Downsize Sooner than Later – 18 Rules for Retirement Success available on Amazon.com.

Life is uncertain and who can say whether he or she will even make it to tomorrow? Given this fact, living well at all ages is virtuous, as any day can be one’s last. But beyond the importance of elevating the present, there is also the opposite concern:

Life can last much longer than one expects.

Senior years and retirement often represent a significant portion of a person’s total life. For many, as much as a third of it. This is far too much time to leave to idle.

Just as it would be a shame to die young without fully living, it is similarly unfortunate – and a serious disappointment for those who experience it – to live a substantial portion of later life adrift, with the absence of significant goals, purpose, or enduring pursuits of personal value.

One of several risks of such unfocused living, as alluded to in the last rule, is who knows what fills the empty time. Rest assured, something will fill the space. The question is what:

• Cable news?
• Chronic complaining and over-fixation on health?
• Constant worry and anxiety about money?
• Binge-watching television reruns?
• Continual outrage and anxiety about politics?
• Paralyzing obsession with the “glory days” of the past?
• Addiction to sensational news media?
• Addiction to social media, web surfing, or Internet porn?
• Addiction to casino slot-machine gambling?

Shake your head at some of these possibilities, but I can easily predict that everyone reading these words knows at least one person who has fallen prey to such traps later in life. I am reminded of the wise saying: “The idle mind is the devil’s playground.” This warning applies not only in youth, but to any age group. Given this reality, what can one do to avoid such pitfalls and even turn such a potentially challenging problem into an opportunity for greater strength?

The pursuit of meaning.

Experts in human psychology generally agree that identifying and pursuing meaning in one’s life is essential for living well. Meaning relates to the purpose or the “why” for living. It is the wellspring of the willingness to face each day with energy and direction.

The idea that retirement is somehow exclusively a carefree space and free of difficulty is folly. Life is life, and its challenges continue – perhaps even especially – in older age. When the big challenges inevitably appear, will you be mentally stronger or weaker? Drifting and unfocused living is corrosive to one’s strength. To engender fortitude and optimal mental health for the road ahead, a meaningful purpose for living is vital.

As Friedrich Nietzsche observed, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” What can you do to deliberately establish and maintain a meaningful purpose for living during retirement? What is meaning, as relates to your life? How would you know it when you see it? Where can you look to find it?

Below are several clues to help characterize and identify meaning, along with one major “secret” to help uncover and amplify an abundance of meaning in your own life. 

Clue 1: Meaning precedes feelings of fulfillment.

Just as a horse must be in front of a cart to pull it, true feelings of fulfillment require meaningful action to occur before feelings of fulfillment can be manifest. Expressed as a formula, it looks like this:

Meaningful action + reflection = fulfillment

Meaningful action may occur along a broad spectrum, from extensive physical activity such as work, exercise, volunteering, or other ongoing regular activity, to extensive mental activity such as speaking, writing, teaching, consulting, or the decision to bear a particular burden in an exemplary way. Such actions, once taken and reflected upon, produce positive feelings that engender sustaining and motivating energy. Reflection to generate feelings of fulfillment can occur as a result of setting aside specific time to reflect – such as journaling or simply stopping to reflect each day – or intuitively, moment by moment, as a matter of course.

Consider the following two examples.

Jane is financially set – guaranteed income for life, adequate insurance, emergency fund, investments in place and positioned to grow undisturbed. She enjoys spending time with her great-granddaughter Lilly. Two days a week, she watches Lilly during the day, while her grandson and granddaughter-in-law are at work.

Jane and Lilly read stories, play games, take strolls in the local park, and have lunch together. At the end of such days, Jane is tired, but she has a very enjoyable time. Thinking back on it, she is thrilled that she and Lilly can be an important part of each other’s lives. She knows that she is helping Lilly grow and experience life in a special and unique way. With these positive feelings in mind, Jane stays energized and motivated to continue this highly rewarding activity.

Albert, after visiting the doctor for moderate but recurring abdominal pain, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer of the Steve Jobs’ variety. This diagnosis came out of nowhere and was a complete shock to him and everyone close to him. Based on the cancer’s stage at diagnosis, he was given an estimate of 12 to 18 months to live.

Family members never knew exactly how to talk to Albert about his illness. To protect those closest to him, Albert made a deliberate decision to limit discussions that focused on his difficulties. During his remaining time, Albert worked painstakingly to set his affairs in order. He made the decision to take on renovating several rooms in his home – paying remarkable attention to detail – preparing it to be a comfortable refuge for his family in the years after he would be gone. In the process, Albert left a legacy of how to heroically face the close of life without complaint, and with dignity and strength.

In the end, it took nearly five years for the cancer to finally claim Albert’s life. While impossible to prove empirically, his meaningful effort to finish strong and elevate concern for those closest to him may have bought him some extra time. Regardless, he left a legacy of courage and determined character that those closest to him will never forget.

Clue 2: Meaning must be specific to the individual.

Broad generalizations about actions a person might take to establish meaning in their lives are difficult to make. This is because meaning requires a custom fit. It doesn’t work well for someone to say that taking specific action “x” or “y” will always be meaningful to every person. People can offer suggestions and share what may seem meaningful to them – and they may get close to describing something that may appear meaningful to you – but, in the end, everyone must decide.

For example, Joan is thrilled about realizing her dream of bottle-feeding puppies and kittens when she retires. This seems meaningful to Joan, but others may find such a pursuit as possessing significantly less meaning. It follows that any answer to the general question “What is the meaning of life?” or “What should a person do to achieve meaning in life?” will only be valid based on how it aligns with the values and inclinations of the particular individual.

Clue 3: Passion is not meaning.

People are often given the advice “Follow your passion!” as a directive for identifying or establishing meaning in their lives. However, such advice, if you try to follow it, can be difficult and confusing. The reason this happens is because passion, like fulfillment, is a byproduct of first engaging in meaningful action.

Pele is passionate about football because he has worked very hard and accumulated a track record of success and fulfillment from playing the game. However, had he fallen short in his early career and derived no ongoing joy from football, he may have never developed the same momentum. His initial actions – risky, uncertain, and independent of his preexisting talent – were necessary pre-steps to developing the passion he enjoys today.

Because meaningful action once taken and accumulated into fulfillment generates passion as a byproduct, initiating a search for meaning in one’s life from a starting point of passion puts the cart before the horse.

This is not to suggest that passion isn’t valuable. Passion can be a useful sustaining force that helps support creative capacity and ongoing meaning, but it is not a creative force in and of itself. To help prove the point, try the following experiment. The next time your spouse or partner asks what he or she should make for dinner (assuming it’s not your night to cook), try answering with only, “Something that tastes amazing!” You will soon discover that passion by itself just doesn’t work.

Clue 4: The pursuit of meaning is fortifying.

As mentioned in the anonymous but real-life story of Albert above, his sense of purpose and meaning provided a means of sustenance during extreme difficulty. His will to live with dignity and his desire to protect and provide for his family gave him a clear purpose for living. This purpose fueled him to battle through years of difficult cancer treatments, to complete demanding tasks of importance, and to live more fully.

Thinking back on it, it is amazing to remember how, post-diagnosis, he continued to live with such vigor. He went on trips, attended concerts, attended sporting events, spent extensive time with family, friends, and attended his children’s activities with full zeal. I even remember playing golf with him about six months before he died. He was still striping the ball even then, and we had a fantastic time together.

To this day, it brings tears to remember my last fist-bump with Albert. “Later, dude!” just days before he died. But even on that day, he remained his uncompromising self, burning with fire for life. Albert exemplified the essence of Nietzsche’s charge to possess a strong and meaningful “why.” Such possession engenders the strength required to power forward even at the most difficult of times.

The secret to finding meaning.

Given the characteristics of meaning that we have discussed, and the fact that pursuing passion as a means of its discovery often falls short of the mark, what is a practical pathway for identifying relevant meaning in one’s life? The method I am going to suggest is surprisingly uncomplicated, yet capable of producing an abundance of meaningful options from which to choose. It hinges on answering the following question:

“What is something only you can do?”

Take a moment to try and answer. If you are frustrated at first – no worries. An initial measure of frustration seems to sharpen the impact, once the underlying simplicity of the question is revealed. Notice that this question does not seek a singular “one” thing that only you can do. More like asking, “What is something you can eat for breakfast?” a variety of answers will suffice.

The question is also not about skills, per se. If it was, most would conclude that there isn’t much only they can do. Are you a scratch golfer? Well, many people can do that. Are you good at drawing or painting? There are a lot of accomplished artists and painters. Do you play the piano well? Same story. Even little kids can be great at piano. Focusing on undifferentiated skills throws the question off and steers it away from its intended target.

However, by narrowing the focus from skills in and of themselves to the application of those skills, a completely different landscape of meaning emerges. Others may play the piano, perhaps even more skillfully than you, but only you play the piano the way you do. Only you can bring to the application of your skills the broad base of your personal experience and perspective. If, on a surface level, your skills, when compared to others, appear similar or even deficient, your application of those skills remains decidedly unique.

In addition to the idea of uniqueness in application of skills is the idea of uniqueness in roles and proximity.

Roles are your distinctive positions in family or other social spheres. Examples of roles include,

  • You are the only husband (or wife) to your spouse.
  • You are the only mother (or father) to your child.
  • You are the only grandparent of your kind to your grandchildren (mom’s mom, dad’s mom, mom’s dad, etc.).
  • You are the only brother or sister of your kind to your sibling (older brother, little brother, youngest brother, etc.).
  • You are the only child of your kind to your parents (daughter, son, first child, middle child, third child, youngest child, etc.).
  • You are the only master of your kind to your pet.

Proximity reflects the distance – physical or relative – between you and your aim.

Things in closer proximity generally offer more fertile pathways to meaning. The simplest manifestation of proximity is physical distance. Say you want to tutor disadvantaged kids to help improve their math skills. It will generally be easier to do so locally, versus attempting to do so in a far-away state. Other distances are more relative in nature. Say you want to mentor professionals during retirement, and you were a cardiologist during your career. You may find it more conducive to mentor physicians versus architects or engineers because the physicians more closely match the experience with which you are most familiar.

By surveying a combination of your applied skills, roles, and proximities, it is highly likely you will find several opportunities for pursuing meaning. 

Many will represent areas that exclusively only you can impact. So much so, that without your stepping forward, such opportunities will remain absent from realization in the universe for all time.

A few examples:

Frank is a retired nurse and a considerable handyman due to decades of developing personal skills in home improvement and repair. Frank also happens to live in the same city as his older sister Joan who is recently widowed and living alone. On weekends, Frank regularly stops by to help Joan with odd jobs around the house. As a result, Frank gets to work on satisfying projects he enjoys, while also being a big help to his older sister. The quality time they spend together has enabled the two of them to achieve a much closer and more meaningful relationship.

Alejandro is a retired manager from a large company involved in chemical manufacturing. During his 35+ year career, he helped supervise the execution of several multi-million-dollar building projects. This makes him very familiar with the ins and outs of commercial construction and complicated project planning. Through a personal connection, Alejandro was invited to serve on a building committee for a local non-profit health clinic with plans to expand. Bringing his considerable knowledge and experience to the table, Alejandro helped the non-profit build better quality facilities, finish projects on schedule, and save money. He finds helping in this way highly rewarding, good for the community, and is glad to be able to make a real difference.

The pursuit of meaning never stops.

Once you have identified areas in which to pursue meaningful action in the near term, don’t stop there. Plan to continue doing so indefinitely. Don’t think, “Well I can do these things now, but only until about age 80. After that, it won’t matter because I probably won’t be able or around much longer.” Such thinking is shortsighted. For all you know, you may live to your mid-90s. That’s 15 more years!

Do you remember how much living you did between preschool and graduation from high school? Would you allow an equivalent amount of time to be lost to lingering without plans or purpose?

The reality is, the pursuit of meaning and its manifestation in meaningful action should never consciously conclude. Consider Albert’s discovery that his end was near. He had every justification to decouple and withdraw from life. Yet did he do so? Did he surrender his remaining days to hopelessness and drifting in despair?

Not even close.

He pulled himself together from the initial shock, regained his footing, and – until his body finally denied him – showed those closest to him what it looks like to stand heroically in the face of adversity. His extraordinary why afforded him meaning and purpose during the most devastating of how.

Questions or comments? 

I can be reached at this link – contact Ted Stevenot.

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Rule 17: Slay Your Dragons

Below is an excerpt from the book Downsize Sooner than Later – 18 Rules for Retirement Success available on Amazon.com.

A “dragon” is any issue that the longer you ignore it, the bigger it grows. Ignored long enough, a dragon can grow so big and so strong, it becomes capable of eating you alive. In tandem with a dragon’s growth in size and strength, the weaker your ability becomes to fight it. At last, in the dark of night, when you are least prepared, it calls you out.

By then, it is too late…

We have discussed many issues in the prior rules that qualify as dragons.

A few include:

  • Ignoring the fact that you will always have bills to pay (Rule 1).
  • Ignoring your spending habits (Rules 2, 3 and 4).
  • Ignoring simplifying and putting order to your life (Rules 2, 3, 12).
  • Ignoring that you may live longer than you think (Rules 1, 6, 7, 10).
  • Ignoring separating your income from your wealth (Rule 5).
  • Ignoring a plan for sustainable lifetime income (Rule 6).
  • Ignoring a plan for wealth to grow undisturbed (Rule 7).
  • Ignoring a plan for extended care (Rule 9).
  • Ignoring securing a will and other important legal planning documents (Rules 8, 12).
  • Ignoring putting your passwords in a place where loved ones can find them (Rules 8, 12).
  • Ignoring expressing your final wishes (Rule 8).
  • Ignoring your diet (Rule 13).
  • Ignoring to move your whole body (Rule 14).
  • Ignoring your long-term mental input (Rule 15).
  • Ignoring intentionally pursuing meaning in your life (Rules 11, 16).

It’s no secret that some of the above items are tough to deal with, and there is always an excuse to put things off. Fighting dragons is never easy. I have lived long enough that some of the things I have put off are now beyond my reach. There is no second chance for a do-over or to catch-up.

Ironically, when things are going well, it is one of the easiest times to ignore the dragons.

There’s just no sense of urgency. At other times, the urgency is overwhelming.
When John died, I was in the middle of writing what you see here and entering the busiest time of the year for my principal business. Life did not stop its march forward just because John was suddenly gone. Business demands continued. Bills were still due. Responsibilities were still expected to be met. Adding salt to the wound, in the few months after his passing, the sky seemed to open and rain swarms of dragons all over us.

Throughout this period, aside from support from family and friends, my salvation was my routine.

Earlier in the year, before John’s death, after months of introspection about what were the most important things to be doing with my life, I rebuilt my routine. Like what we discussed in Rule 16 on meaning, I decided my family, my health (diet and exercise), and my personal businesses were my most important things. For each, I broke out daily activities I could do to move these areas forward in a positive way. Rather than a “to do” list, this was more like a “to become” list.

Once I decided on the key activities on which to focus, I weaponized them into a scheduled daily routine.

It may seem a digression, but it’s important to note, whenever I felt tempted to feel angry or bitter or to curse life for what so unfairly happened to John, I deliberately decided not to pursue such nihilistic thoughts. This was in part in homage to him. I know with complete certainty he would never have wanted me to use his death as justification for sinking into despair and not living my own life fully. John did not suffer fools easily and to say that he would have had no patience for me taking a victim-based mindset is an understatement.

Some days, when things are tough, and I am tempted to overthink or worry about the past or the future, I say to myself, “Just focus on today. What’s on deck for today?” With my routine available, it has made narrowing my focus and answering this question easier. Consequently, and even during this past year’s difficulty, forward progress continued.

I offer to you as proof, the completion of this blog (now a physical book on Amazon.com).

Click to preview the book on Amazon.com

During the worst of the siege, my routine looked something like this,

• Up at 5 a.m. – grab gym clothes (laid out the night before), make coffee, let out dogs, put on headphones, select/play instructive audiobook or podcast, drive to the gym, workout, come home, wash hands, clean up the kitchen, set breakfast table, cut up fruit bowls for Ted and Jan, make Jan’s lunch.

  • Do breakfast dishes, make to-go-coffee for Jan, kiss goodbye, say, “Be safe!”
    • Journal (15 minutes).
  • Write (2–3 hours).
  • Business calls (2–3 hours).
  • Lunch (15 minutes).
  • Follow-ups (1–2 hours).
  • Slay dragons (1–2 hours).
  • Jan home – dinner, relaxing evening together (gym, biking, walking, screen-time, reading, painting, errands, movie nights, etc.).
  • Lay out gym clothes.
  • In bed by 10 p.m.
  • Repeat daily until the weekend.

Note on the list above, the line titled “Slay dragons.” For this daily activity, I created a list of the most uncomfortable, difficult, pain-in-the-neck, must-do but don’t-want-to-do things I had on my plate.

A few examples were: following up with the coroner about the cause of death, getting John’s phone back from the police, working on his estate details, court docs, bonding, paying off his car loan, retitling his car, squaring away his investment and retirement accounts, collecting his personal items – books, journals, computers, clothes, and other belongings – notifying John’s clients that he died, collecting his W2s, 1099s, preparing his income taxes, etc., etc., etc.

Nearly every one of the above items completely sucked to work on.

Many were like being stripped, tied to a post, and whipped. But I had to do them. I also had to keep my regular life going and not drop my critical activities.

As I write this, John has been gone eight months to the day. I share this in order to say that at least one key to getting hard things done – and especially in the hardest times – is to have a routine. And to add space in that routine specifically for the hard stuff. It still sucks, but at least it comes in manageable doses. On an individual day, when you slay a small dragon, or on other days when all you can manage is a few slashes at one or two, there is a sense of satisfaction that you are moving forward, even if the progress seems small.

I suppose it is remarkable that throughout this ordeal, we still managed to keep so many important things going – not the least of which has been still eating healthy and making it to the gym. Has there been grief? Tons of grief. Tears? Rivers of tears. I know John would understand that we need time to grieve, and we have spent time doing so. At the same time, I think he would be proud that we kept so many things together that he knew to be so important.

I can imagine John asking, “Do you still have your six-pack, Dad?” 

Hell, yes, I do.

When the book is published, one of my next projects will be to publish his manuscript. That will mean reading through it and making sure it is ready. Doing so will be hard, as I have read some of it recently. It is as if he’s standing right next to me, looking over my shoulder. But I will battle through and make it happen. My routine will be a major help in making it so.

I invite you to make your own dragon list of “to do’s” and “to becomes”.

From there, focus on building a routine. Each day do something that moves the ball forward on the things that matter most in your life. If you make such a system to do so and put your affairs in order, I can promise you two major things:

  1. You will slay your dragons, winning peace of mind for yourself and benefiting those who depend on you.
  2. Your personal willpower will grow. This happens because such a constructive routine builds both momentum and mental muscle.

Once you get a serious taste of habitual dragon slaying, there is no going back.

Questions or comments? 

I can be reached at this link – contact Ted Stevenot.

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Rule 18: Income Is the Answer

Below is an excerpt from the book Downsize Sooner than Later – 18 Rules for Retirement Success available on Amazon.com.

With this rule, I want to conclude our discussions with a final rule to help sum up all the others. I once answered the following question on an online forum:

“What’s the one thing that makes you the happiest in retirement?”

Given all the rules we have discussed, if I had to circle back and pick just one, what would it be?

What’s the cornerstone? What’s the base upon which all the other rules stand and can be built? What’s the one thing that, if you had it nailed down, would make all the other things easier and more possible? Is it downsizing, budgeting, investing, routines, diet, exercise, pursuing meaning, or something else?

Certainly, all those are very important. But my answer was simple:

“Of all the retirees I know, the ones with guaranteed income are the happiest.”

I went on to explain that this means having enough combined income from Social Security, pensions, and annuities to cover basic bills for a lifetime. After that, staying productive, healthy, and fulfilled are important, but without the core security of knowing that financially, you will have your essential bills paid – i.e. a roof over your head, food, transportation, healthcare, heating/cooling, etc. – it’s just not the same.

My two most notable retiree heroes – inspirational “someday I want to live like them” friends – both have significant sources of guaranteed income as well as other investments and part-time love-to-do work.

One of the two regularly travels internationally with his wife, yet still has managed to accumulate millions in legacy for his family. My wife and I joined them on a recent trip to Maui. Though now in his mid-80s, we snorkeled coral reefs together and biked through the clouds down the 21-mile face of Mt. Haleakala. He and his wife are undaunted. Free from gnawing worry about the condition of personal finances, they are focused on living fully and maximizing quality time spent with the people they care about most. Their positive outlook and will to finish strong offer a shining example of how fulfilling and enjoyable late life can be.

My other top retiree hero is more of a 48-contiguous-states kind of guy. But, he is always posting on social media the amazing things he and his wife are doing, places they are going, wineries, bed-and-breakfasts, time with grandkids, and on and on. On many occasions, I have found myself taken aback by the exceedingly high level of overall joy in his world. To say that his life is overflowing with meaning is obvious. It’s the scope of it that is so amazing.

I remember asking him, “What’s the secret?”

Unprompted, he smiled widely, clapped, and rubbed his hands together, and exclaimed, “I have an annuity, baby!” He went on to explain that he didn’t have to worry about the market or many of the things other people worry about. He knew he and his wife were going to get a check in the mail every month to cover their expenses for the rest of their lives.

This is security. The freedom to live fully day-to-day without financial worry.

It makes fulfillment and enjoyment that much more possible when you are not in angst about buying groceries, making ends meet, or otherwise running out of money. Add to this the concept of planting a money tree – that you do not disturb – to grow wealth throughout retirement, and the circle is complete: income and growth. Truly, this is having your cake and eating it too.

But if I had to pick just one – the beachhead, the foothold, the stepping-off place – the answer is income.

Take care of yourself. Take care of your spouse. Make sure there will always be money coming in to cover the inevitable bills that must be paid. This will provide you with a lasting means of dignity, freedom, peace of mind, and shelter from the rain.

From such a foundation, build your best and happiest future retirement.

Questions or comments? 

I can be reached at this link – contact Ted Stevenot.

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The 60 Second Retirement Plan

While no one plan fits every situation – and you should certainly spend more than a minute formulating an actual plan – the hardest part about anything is getting started.

If this motivates you to take your first step, its worth it.

1) Lower your expenses. Don’t let your upkeep be your downfall. Get rid of debt. If you plan to downsize, do it sooner than later. Don’t bum out about downsizing. Even if you’re rich, “simpler” is better and you’ll likely be happier anyway.

2) Use “guaranteed” income to cover BASIC living expenses. This will keep you from blowing your nest-egg on groceries. There are basically three types of guaranteed income: social security, pensions, and annuities. Figure out your basic bills, and pay as many of them as possible using guaranteed income.

3) Protect against healthcare costs. Attend a Medicare “educational event” and learn how Medicare actually works. Medicare educational events are free and presenters aren’t permitted to try and sell you anything.

4) Plan for “extended” or “long-term” care expenses. Who really loves you and would drop everything they were doing to take care of you? Without a plan this is the person who ends up getting hurt the most! Learn about “asset based” long-term care policies. Underwriting is easier and heirs can get your money back if you don’t use the coverage.

5) Protect against inflation. If you follow STEP 2 and cover your BASIC expenses with guaranteed income, you can leave more of your nest-egg in growth mode. This affords you a critical hedge to protect against inflation over time.

6) Study and focus on fulfillment. It’s not only how long you live, but how well you live. Stay productive. Keep learning. Keep experiencing. Be grateful. Make the most of each day and don’t become a curmudgeon. Set an example and age with grace.

Questions, thoughts, comments? You can reach me directly here or by posting a comment below.

Here’s wishing you a secure and happy retirement!